Who Doesn’t Like Watching Trainwrecks?

Anyone who suggests they don’t rubberneck at an accident is lying to you. And if they aren’t lying, then their powers of observation are faulty. People are curious to see horrible things at accident sites. Ultimately, these poor souls could be us, or have been us. It’s a grim reminder that all things are fleeting and can be snatched away from us at any time. That is the reason celebrity breakdowns are interesting. When you have lots of money and still can’t get your act together, it only proves the old adage, “money can’t buy you happiness.”

There is a perverse feeling to all of this, a sick enjoyment of watching someone hit the wall (especially if they have more money than you and your entire family combined). Why do we continually talk about girls like Britney Spears hitting the wall and cracking under it all? Because we all silently get off on it is why! We publicize the bad more than the good. When a semi-talented pop girl crashes and burns gets more publicity than dudes who may be on the verge of treating deadly cancers that affect us all, its truly sad. We seem to be in a place where failures are rewarded with more attention and praise than successes. It’s one thing to fail and do it fighting to the last breath, its another to lose and not have done anything about it in the first place.

But, we all watch the disasters, wait for the graphic footage to come on, shown in high definition 1080i on huge plasma screen TVs. The picture is so clear you can see the carnage just like if you were there. Rubbernecking on highways just doesn’t seem the same when you can rubberneck with images so vivid you can taste the pain on someone’s face.

It’s best to remember that in the midst of the mayhem, there is loss. There is sadness. There is a need for reason. There is anger. And from us, there should be compassion. That could be us.

The following was the view and opinion of the author and does not reflect the views and opinions of the host of this blog. And if it’s not obvious yet, you should be angry.

What Really Needs to Be Banned

After a while, you tend to get sick of hearing what people really think is the problem with society. I know I do. Dear Lord, I do! However, I tend to understand the need to place society’s faults on one thing rather than on society as a whole (“Hey, the parent’s didn’t screw up when their kids went on a killing spree, it was ‘Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ that did it! Blame them!”). But, I think the problem is in the little things we take for granted, such as civil liberties and proper parenting. But, to follow the foaming need of the mob to put a finger on the problem, I have some ideas on what needs to banned RIGHT NOW:

--The combination of two names into one (e.g., “Brangelina”): This stupid little thing needs to stop. NOW. This is borderline brain damaged behavior. I’m halfway tempted to have a law passed that will make it legal to stone the dude who invented this. Not to death, but enough so they can still call the paramedics.

--The “super wall” across the border. Anyone with half a mind and a memory of “Escape from New York” can tell you that huge walls can only work when you have a large water mass between them and land. And even then, you’ll need helicopters. With cruise missiles. Speaking about dumb immigration ideas…

--The rounding up of illegals to be transported back to their home country. What a brilliant idea, guys. Hey, you know what else? It would have worked….a century and a half ago! With 5,000 people, that might have worked. But with 5 million, it’s downright insane. Are the gears of politics that slow when it comes to common sense? Think on that. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

--What my favorite celebrity is shopping for. Do I need to know this? Will it change my life to find out my favorite star eats the same tortilla chips I do? While I’m at it, am I that desperate for entertainment that I need to know if they poop the same way I do? Do they wear diapers? Do they do it into a bag strapped to their calves? And who gives a flying f**k about any of this?

--Remakes of old TV shows into movies. Hopefully this is stopping already, but it needs to stop indefinitely. Mind you, old TV shows made into new TV shows is fine with me. I’m personally waiting for the remake of “My Mother The Car” from the guys who remade “Battlestar Galactica”. It will be a gritty parable about today’s society, seen from a woman whose soul is trapped in the body of a car. It may even win an Emmy.

And to finish this list off:

--Blaming your problems on alcoholism. Calling another dude “sugar tits” is hard to blame on just a couple of beers. Something like that is floating in your brain for a long time, but it just took the beer to let everyone else know you were thinking about “sugar tits”. The same applies to molesting male interns. I may be speaking for myself, but when I’m drunk (which is “solar eclipse” rare), I don’t bring up the Jews or having sex with young boys. And believe me when I tell you, I talk A LOT when I'm drunk. Grow some nuts, people.

The following was the view and opinion of the author and does not reflect the views and opinions of the host of this blog. And if you can’t guess it’s a personal opinion, that’s your problem… Sugar Tits.

Why Dumb Blondes Tick Me Off

Being a single man, I do have dreams of one day having kids of my own. As such, I have to reflect on the role-models I have for them. If I have a son, I would not let this kid out of my sight, only because I know how my childhood was. The fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree, so extra care needs to be taken with junior. If it’s a daughter, I would be freaking out to no end.

Look at the role models young girls have now and you would pee your pants in horror and have your little girl locked up in a covenant for the rest of her days. Girls like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are role models? What is going on here? We get to hear about the exposed privates, drunken stupors, borderline psychotic behavior, and rehab visits shorter than trips to the supermarket and not feel like doing a mental exam on these girls with a lead pipe to the forehead? When absentee fathers and snobby ex-boyfriends seem like better bets as human beings, you know something is wrong.

Some have gone as far as to call them “whores”, which is far from being true. Whores give it out for money. I get the feeling they do it for free. “Dumb” is harsher.

I don’t need to worry about my kid wearing a thong sticking out of her pants as she goes to grade school. I don’t want to hear about my kid spending more time on her cell phone than on her education. I don’t need to hear that her friends advertise their goods with see-through clothes. It’s one thing to advertise what you got ladies, but like any good teaser for a movie, you should not see all of the good parts BEFORE the ticket is bought.

The title of this piece might suggest I have an issue against all blondes, but this is far from true. Unfortunately, many guys like me know this to be a myth. Most blondes I know tend to be articulate, intelligent, and often fascinating individuals. Unfortunately, with these girls running around, that myth is becoming reality. What’s next?

Hearing about Anna Nicole Smith’s horrifying demise doesn’t give me a bright outlook for the future. Remember the old adage, “Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it”? I have the bad feeling that these party girls may not have even have touched the history books to know that one.

The following was the view and opinion of the author and does not reflect the views and opinions of the host of this blog. And if you can’t guess it’s a personal opinion, you need to get your head examined. Possibly with a lead pipe.

An Introduction

Okay, here’s the deal: I have opinions about a great many things. However, with my other blogs (rsmon77.blogspot.com and avstimuli.blogspot.com) you'd be hard pressed to find any deep prying. And as the blogosphere (weird name I know, but thank God I didn’t invent it) is where people can talk smack and take criticism about their opinions, I think it’s time I put my two cents of smack in. So, for the five of you (or to be realistic, two of you) who stumble upon this blog hoping for grand moments of revelation and earth-changing information, well, keep hoping I eventually do that. If I do, I can assure you it will be by accident and with little self-realization. Obviously these opinions are mine and mine alone, and as such, may be dripping with sarcasm and exaggeration. They do not represent the opinions of the hosts of this blog (to best of my knowledge, so if you are reading this, please don’t write to confirm it). I enjoy feedback as much as the next guy (which in this current climate, means not at all), but please be polite. Trust me, if you the reader feel that these opinions are personal attacks against you and your character, it is not. If it was personal, I would be polite enough to attach your name to my insults directly. So if you are Paris Hilton and I say the words “dumb whore”, rest easy because unless I specifically write, “Paris Hilton is a dumb whore”, it really doesn’t refer to you. Really.

If you don’t like pointed opinions and venomous attacks against society… boy, you came to the wrong place. You were warned. Here comes the pain.