After a while, you tend to get sick of hearing what people really think is the problem with society. I know I do. Dear Lord, I do! However, I tend to understand the need to place society’s faults on one thing rather than on society as a whole (“Hey, the parent’s didn’t screw up when their kids went on a killing spree, it was ‘Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ that did it! Blame them!”). But, I think the problem is in the little things we take for granted, such as civil liberties and proper parenting. But, to follow the foaming need of the mob to put a finger on the problem, I have some ideas on what needs to banned RIGHT NOW:
--The combination of two names into one (e.g., “Brangelina”): This stupid little thing needs to stop. NOW. This is borderline brain damaged behavior. I’m halfway tempted to have a law passed that will make it legal to stone the dude who invented this. Not to death, but enough so they can still call the paramedics.
--The “super wall” across the border. Anyone with half a mind and a memory of “Escape from New York” can tell you that huge walls can only work when you have a large water mass between them and land. And even then, you’ll need helicopters. With cruise missiles. Speaking about dumb immigration ideas…
--The rounding up of illegals to be transported back to their home country. What a brilliant idea, guys. Hey, you know what else? It would have worked….a century and a half ago! With 5,000 people, that might have worked. But with 5 million, it’s downright insane. Are the gears of politics that slow when it comes to common sense? Think on that. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
--What my favorite celebrity is shopping for. Do I need to know this? Will it change my life to find out my favorite star eats the same tortilla chips I do? While I’m at it, am I that desperate for entertainment that I need to know if they poop the same way I do? Do they wear diapers? Do they do it into a bag strapped to their calves? And who gives a flying f**k about any of this?
--Remakes of old TV shows into movies. Hopefully this is stopping already, but it needs to stop indefinitely. Mind you, old TV shows made into new TV shows is fine with me. I’m personally waiting for the remake of “My Mother The Car” from the guys who remade “Battlestar Galactica”. It will be a gritty parable about today’s society, seen from a woman whose soul is trapped in the body of a car. It may even win an Emmy.
And to finish this list off:
--Blaming your problems on alcoholism. Calling another dude “sugar tits” is hard to blame on just a couple of beers. Something like that is floating in your brain for a long time, but it just took the beer to let everyone else know you were thinking about “sugar tits”. The same applies to molesting male interns. I may be speaking for myself, but when I’m drunk (which is “solar eclipse” rare), I don’t bring up the Jews or having sex with young boys. And believe me when I tell you, I talk A LOT when I'm drunk. Grow some nuts, people.
The following was the view and opinion of the author and does not reflect the views and opinions of the host of this blog. And if you can’t guess it’s a personal opinion, that’s your problem… Sugar Tits.
--The combination of two names into one (e.g., “Brangelina”): This stupid little thing needs to stop. NOW. This is borderline brain damaged behavior. I’m halfway tempted to have a law passed that will make it legal to stone the dude who invented this. Not to death, but enough so they can still call the paramedics.
--The “super wall” across the border. Anyone with half a mind and a memory of “Escape from New York” can tell you that huge walls can only work when you have a large water mass between them and land. And even then, you’ll need helicopters. With cruise missiles. Speaking about dumb immigration ideas…
--The rounding up of illegals to be transported back to their home country. What a brilliant idea, guys. Hey, you know what else? It would have worked….a century and a half ago! With 5,000 people, that might have worked. But with 5 million, it’s downright insane. Are the gears of politics that slow when it comes to common sense? Think on that. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
--What my favorite celebrity is shopping for. Do I need to know this? Will it change my life to find out my favorite star eats the same tortilla chips I do? While I’m at it, am I that desperate for entertainment that I need to know if they poop the same way I do? Do they wear diapers? Do they do it into a bag strapped to their calves? And who gives a flying f**k about any of this?
--Remakes of old TV shows into movies. Hopefully this is stopping already, but it needs to stop indefinitely. Mind you, old TV shows made into new TV shows is fine with me. I’m personally waiting for the remake of “My Mother The Car” from the guys who remade “Battlestar Galactica”. It will be a gritty parable about today’s society, seen from a woman whose soul is trapped in the body of a car. It may even win an Emmy.
And to finish this list off:
--Blaming your problems on alcoholism. Calling another dude “sugar tits” is hard to blame on just a couple of beers. Something like that is floating in your brain for a long time, but it just took the beer to let everyone else know you were thinking about “sugar tits”. The same applies to molesting male interns. I may be speaking for myself, but when I’m drunk (which is “solar eclipse” rare), I don’t bring up the Jews or having sex with young boys. And believe me when I tell you, I talk A LOT when I'm drunk. Grow some nuts, people.
The following was the view and opinion of the author and does not reflect the views and opinions of the host of this blog. And if you can’t guess it’s a personal opinion, that’s your problem… Sugar Tits.
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